In rather surprising news, the New England Patriots have officially traded Jimmy “Sex Magnet” Garoppolo to the San Francisco 49ers for a 2nd round draft
pick and a bag of nickels. (The nickels were a special request from Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, sources tell Breaking Hype)

This trade puts an end to the more than 12 month QB controversy that has been brewing in New England since Tom Brady served his suspension last fall. What’s difficult to believe is that an organization who has made such excellent choices in recent years, would fuck around and give up the best QB to walk through their doors. Looking at the numbers, Jimmy G finished the 2016 season with a passer rating of 123.5 which makes Brady’s passer rating of 97.7 look like chump change.

You’re probably thinking, “but Snake, Brady won a Super Bowl in 2016!” And you’d be correct my well-informed friend, however, Super Bowls alone don’t get you into the Hall. (See Trent Dilfer) You know what does? Individual metrics.

Only time will tell if this was the right move or not but for now we can only hope that The Patriots can figure out a way to come back from this and try to salvage what has thus far been a disappointing season.

-Snake

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